That Gratitude Attitude

You’ve worked overtime at work, at home, even on weekends to complete a project. You type it, format it, illustrate it, forward it to your boss. You receive no feedback, no acknowledgement, no confirmation that he even saw it. Three weeks later you read in the company E-newsletter that your boss has been honored with an award for his work on – you guessed it, your project. You’ve been hijacked.

Hero Hijacking is a term we’ve used in publications and presentations to describe misappropriated and overlooked recognition. It is most often noted in the business world, but you can be hijacked, or do the hijacking, anywhere, even at home.

Misappropriating credit is a cardinal sin in the business world, yet it is remarkably common. Not just as in the example that we presented at the opening this post. In addition to claiming credit for someone’s work or actions, minimizing the credit such as recognizing “My team” as contributors rather than mentioning contributors individually by name also withholds credit from whom it is due. There is also a more insidious method of commandeering credit. That is when credit is offered but the emphasis is placed on the work rather than the worker.

Minimizing contributions doesn’t just happen at work. It raises its head at school, in clubs, and perhaps most distressingly, in the home. Home hijackers include those who present themselves as the family’s driving force to the outside world. It often occurs when a doer ignores the contributions of the dreamer or the visionary. When the planter says, “If I say so myself, I did a good job on that flower bed,” they discount the work that the planner, the weeder, the tiller, the mulch spreader, and the waterer did. It is not an urban myth that couples have broken up because they weren’t able to acknowledge the input the other halves brought to a home project, a vacation plan, or a major purchase.  

Avoiding overlooked opportunities for, and misappropriated appreciation is easy, and just as easy within the family or outside of the home. Consider the acronym SHARE

Spread the credit around. Make sure everybody gets a piece of the recognition pie.

Heighten expectations. Build a sense of excitement, give everyone an opportunity to contribute.

Acknowledge people. Direct your gratitude to the people doing the work, not the work being done.

Rave over success. Make a big deal of celebrating achievements. (The kids will love you for it.)

Elevate the standard. Give people a reason for wanting to work/live/play with you

Nobody likes to be taken advantage of. It is easy to discount the thought that goes into a plan and concentrate on the action the gets the job done. But without vision, there would be nothing to see. Dreamers are as important to the process as doers and should be equally celebrated. Whether at home or work or in between, when you acknowledge ALL of those who participated on a project or an activity, you are engaging those working and living with you to perform cheerfully and openly. (That includes doing those household chores nobody likes to do). You also set an example for others to know when to say thank you and applaud even the smallest accomplishments.

Raving over all the successes is the one of the most significant ways to say you see and appreciate someone.

Recognize all of the contributors for all of the contributions

Acknowledge the positives as they are performed and noted

Validate the good feelings of those who are part of your team – and part of your family!

Engage everyone by encouraging them to step up and do their best knowing they will be thanked for it.

Anyone can succeed at everyday activities and should be recognized and thanked for their job well done. Anyone can exceed at everyday activities when given a reason to step up and do more. Knowing there is someone grateful for their toils is a more than acceptable reason.