The saying “everything happens for a reason” perhaps should be “every one happens for a reason.” We all have our purpose, and that purpose is ours alone. We do not do anything like anybody else. Even when given explicit instructions, we still do it in our own way. We are unique. There is only one of each of us.
We all have had some moment in life when we decided to do or not to do, then worried and wondered if had we instead not done or done life may have been significantly different. We fell victim to the shoulda, coulda, woulda syndrome. Our heart wonders if I had gone to that school, if I had taken that job, if I had played that game, if I had married that person – then I would be the one with the book deal, the corner office, the vacation home, or the beautiful children. Our brain knows it was not the school or the job or the partner that made any of those things happen. It was the effort put in by the people in those positions. In truth, when we made those decisions to do or not to do, we already set into motion something significant. If our effort would have been great enough to be of value going down one path, it is of the same value going down another, whichever other we ultimately chose or will choose.
Years ago, I saw a poster I shoulda bought. I’m sure it woulda made all the difference. I coulda had it on the wall to remind me to take the right path, which woulda been remarkable because in truth, it said, I shoulda not taken any path. Did you figure it out? Was it Robert Frost exhorting me to take the road less traveled? No, my poster bore Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quote, “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
Don’t be afraid to live the life that you want. You may make different choices than someone else with the same information. That doesn’t make you wrong. It makes you you. It’s not the role that makes you. It’s how you fill it.
Everyone happens for a reason, Revisited
Originally published 5 April 2021, Gently edited for content
ROAMcare Revisited is a look back at some of our most memorable posts. Please join us on a look back to make a clearer path forward.