Try Try Again
- roamcare
- May 21
- 3 min read
There is a tale of a couple who own an antique store in a New England state. For quite some time, an older gentleman would come into the store browsing, never buying, but clearly appreciating the beauty and quality of the offerings.
One day after he left, the wife said to her husband, “The next time he comes in I am going to introduce myself and see if I can help him find something he is looking for.” But he didn’t come back the next day. Nor the day after that.
About a week later, a young woman came in and starting to look around. The wife owner went over to her and asked if she could be of help. The woman replied that she just wanted to stop by; her father told her about this place saying how comfortable it was to be there. He had just passed away and she wanted to see it for herself.
The owner described the older gentleman, and the woman said, “Yes, that’s my father. Did you know him?”
“I only knew him to see him. I never even introduced myself to him.”
“Oh, he would have enjoyed that so much,” the young lady said, “He never felt he was ever seen.”
And the owner cried because she knew she now would never get a chance to greet the gentleman as a friend.
There are so many lessons we can learn from that story. We often say that life doesn’t give second chances, but the store owner was given many second chances to greet the older gentleman each time he visited the store. She had delayed taking her first chance until it was too late.
The gentleman felt unseen and perhaps unappreciated, yet he also could have presented himself to the owners, introduced himself, and commented on why he enjoyed being in their store.
The young lady knew her father enjoyed visiting the antique store and wondered what it was that drew him there, yet she never accompanied him on any of his visits and only after he was gone, did she seem to take an interest in his activity.
The loss of multiple second chances is something we have seen in our own lives. There was a time Michael would take his daughter to New York City on an irregular, regular basis. Each time they went they would take in one of the classic tourist spots – Radio City, the Statue of Liberty, Times Square. Each time his daughter would request a visit to the World Trade Center, but it was never handy to their itinerary. “We’ll get to it next time. That building isn’t going anywhere.” On one visit, from the top of the Empire State Building, when seeing the towers in the distance, she brought it up again and he promised next time. That was in July 2001.
Life gives us more second chances than we realize. Or maybe it gives us more second chances than we want to admit. Recognizing how often opportunities to try again come up would mean we have to take responsibility for the “not haves” in our lives. Not having a good time. Not having an opportunity to be seen. Not having the chance to make a new friend. Not having the chance to share an experience with a loved one. Heeding those sometimes not so subtle second chances might have gotten an older gentleman the feeling of being seen and appreciated, or for a shop owner a new friend, or for a young lady the chance to share a special place with her father while she still had him. Or for a father and daughter a visit to a building that wasn’t going anywhere that was soon to disappear.
American author and philosopher Jeffrey Frye said, “That is what life is about. We do not get redos, but we do get second chances.” How very true. We cannot undo something already done, but we often get a chance to do something that was left undone.
The next time you think you see a second chance, take it, because not every second chance comes with another chance.
The idea of having second chances is one that God gives us many times. He never gives up on us, even when we're unobservant and blinded by doing other things. The story you related is so sad! The gentleman would have been seen; the shop owner would have made a new friend. Our hesitations are often because of busyness. The incident where you and your daughter didn't get to see the World Trade Center, Michael, because you always thought it would be there, is a reminder to me to not put off till tomorrow what I know I can do today. This was good,.